The So-Called Fairer Sex and Myself.

I currently have two people who are willing to let it be known that they follow this blog. Fair Enough. I don't know it there are any more out there who read and keep it a secret. Here is something that I know that the two followers know: I have trouble finding a girlfriend. This is not nothing new. I have for a while. I have been single for around 3 years. That isn't the real issue that I have with being single. The main issue I have with it is that I have a mother who always asks the wrong questions and makes it worse for me. She has been watching wedding planning shows like a mad obsession in the past few months. That in itself is not a bad thing. But then she starts to plan my wedding for me whenever I happen to walk into the room. This is the bad part. I just smile and think to myself: I think I need to get a date first. I haven't been on a real date since July 2008. It is not for trying. Believe me. I'm not mad at anyone though. I have asked out girls. Most have said no, few have said yes, none that have said yes have actually showed up for the date. I have never been mad at the girl though. I take each one differently. I always find something to do that takes my mind off the entire situation. Drinking was never my first reaction. For one, I just worked on my photo experiments for a weekend straight. No sleep. No eating. I just worked. It happens. For another situation, I painted my HTPC case. I have a different reaction. It has come to this point: Whenever I make plans for a date with a girl, I always make a backup plan for WHEN (not IF) she decides not to show. I have very little faith in the female gender when it comes to dating.

I have a few suggestions and criticisms for the female gender. My largest complaint: Why do girls spend so much damn time preparing for a date with a guy? Let's go through the list: Showering/Basic Hygiene, getting dressed, and make-up (optional). If a guy likes you enough to ask you out, then why spend a few hours getting ready so you can "impress him"? Personally, I like the girl to be comfy. Jeans, and a shirt. Make-up is completely optional; it is up to the girl. I don't feel like I'm special enough for the girl to spend all the time to get ready just for me. Just a personal opinion. My next suggestion: If you say "yes" to a guy who asks you out, then please just show up. You may be thinking that you're doing him a favor because you don't really like him, but it is more devastating. Think of it this way: A guy is taking a complete leap of faith when asking a girl out. Because sometimes it is impossible to tell if the girl actually likes you or she is just between hook ups and needs you to do something for her. So he is taking a leap of faith in asking you out. You have a choice to make: say "yes" and go on a date with him, or say "no" and let him move on. This saying yes and not showing bullshit is what ruins guys, and often the good guys that girls always complain that they can't find. Yeah, you can't find them because you have fucked them up so much that they don't wanna take that chance again. It is like this: Say you have a closet in your house, and you know that every time you open the door, there is a chance that you will be shocked. After opening the door and getting shocked so many times, you're say "fuck that" and not use the closet. You don't wanna take that chance anymore. Neither do the guys who get stood up all the fucking time. Here is my suggestion: If you say yes, then go on the date. What is the worst that could happen? You get a free meal, and you both find out that it just isn't going to work? You will risk pregnancy and STD's by sleeping with a different guy every night, but you won't risk finding out you can have a great relationship with a good guy? What the fuck, females?

Nerds. Geeks. These are often used as derogatory terms against someone. But, we (yes, I strongly consider myself a nerd) are often the guys that make the better boyfriends. Here is why: We will do the things to keep you happy. We will not (for the most part. I can not be certain, but this is mainly what I believe) cheat. We are easy to keep happy. You know where to find us on Friday and Saturday nights. We are easy to shop for. We will be so fucking grateful that you have given us a chance that we will treat you like a queen. Think about it girls. How can a guy cheat if you are the only girl that will talk to him? If you have to work on a Friday night, you can be certain we are mostly likely at home playing games. Christmas: we are easy to shop for. A gift card to the local computer hardware store; a novelty gadget; a computer game we don't own. And you can train us, if you will. We don't know what we're doing most of the time when it comes to girls. You can show and teach us what is right and what is wrong. It won't be the same for all girls, but the basic concepts remain the same. I know that we're not the most attractive guys or socially awkward at times; doesn't make us any less human. A human who has feelings.

I have no issue taking the blame for when I do something wrong. Some might say that I take the blame even when I shouldn't. But why is everything that is wrong with a relationship the guy's fault? Why are we made out to look like the bad guy? Girl cheats on her boyfriend, and it is his fault cause he "wasn't paying enough attention to her" at home. What the fuck? If you cheat on him, it is all your damn fault. And guys, don't take the blame for that. If she's not happy with the relationship, she blames the guy. Maybe you need to put a little more effort into the relationship and maybe try to fix it. If you decide that you don't like the guy anymore, then end it. No need to keep dragging a dead horse. But if you do end it and leave him for another guy, don't come running back when it ends with the other guy. If she does, then guys, don't take her back. She hurt you before and she will do it again. It like the little kid at the beach: he keeps going a little further and further into the water to see how far he can go before he gets in trouble. It will keep happening until you finally say no to her.

It is not my choice if I have a girlfriend or not. It is not in my hands. I can only do so much. The rest is up to her. I can talk to her, be nice, and then take the chance and ask her out. That is all I can do. I can think a girl is cute; and ask her out. But that is all. Not to sound corny, but the ball is in her court. I gave her the ball, and it is up to her on what to do with the ball. She has two choices. Say yes, or no. If no, then the guy will know that it won't happen, and move on. If yes, then give him your phone number if he doesn't happen to have it already. Then go on the fucking date! Not that hard.

Another thing I have an issue with. Girls: if you like a guy, don't be afraid to ask him out. I feel that for as far our society has come in the past century, we are stuck in an old way of dating and romance. I was taken out on a date. Miranda and I were dating at the time, she ask me to go on a date with her, and I accepted. Since she asked me on the date, she felt that she should pay for the meal. I wasn't too keen on the idea, but for reasons that I will not mention here. But why is it frowned upon for girls to ask guys out? I blame the girl's mothers. They give them all this advice, and part of it is that is to wait for the guy to come to her and ask her out. If I ever get to the point where I have children and I have a daughter, I will tell her to take the chance and ask a guy out if she likes him. Maybe the guy is just too damn nervous to ask her out. I mean were is it written that a guy who can't be taken out on a date by a girl? I don't think it is necessarily fair that a guy has to take all the chances by asking a girl out and possibly getting hurt by her? This is where the girls have taken control of our concepts of romance and have all these daydreams and notions and expectations to point that a guy has be a fucking millionaire to be able to live up to. And because of their control of this, I feel that red roses are only used by guys when they want to get out of trouble. A guy thinks he fucked up, he buys roses. Why? Cause females perceive them as romantic and accept it. I have bought flowers for girls before. I have never bought red roses. I bought flowers every year for my mom's birthday and took them to her at work; save for this year because her birthday was on a Sunday. I am very hesitant to have flowers delivered to anyone but my mother because the last time I did, she dumped me that day. It is a bad memory connection. Also, roses don't last more than a week.

Girls claim that chivalry is dead. It is no longer a mainstream concept. But there are guys out there who still do all the little things for a girl. But most of the time, she never notices. Hold a door open for a girl: nothing. Open her car door for her: doesn't notice. Give her your jacket when she's cold: who cares. But then you watch a "romantic" movie with her, and she complains that guys don't do that anymore. Seriously? So then the guy wonders why he keeps doing those things for the girl when she obviously doesn't take notice then complains. THAT is why chivalry is struggling for its last dying breath.

I would like to take this time to apologize to the females that don't do these things to guys. I know that not all girls are the same. I know that all guys are the not the same. This applies to some girls, and this covers some guys. I'm giving my opinion and I don't give a fuck if you think I'm wrong. If you do, then step up and tell me. I will have a discussion with you. Just remember: this is all coming from my personal experience and my personal observations. I know that I'm not 100% correct. No one is. I can just express my opinions at my will and try to do so the best to my ability. Thanks for sticking with me through this one.