Finding a Starting Point

This is a warning to those who read this. This post is not a carefully thought out post of mine that I regularly do. This will be an entire post according to my stream of conciousness. I really don't care if you read this or not. I just need a place to share what I am thinking and what I am feeling. And right now, I'm feeling kinda shitty. It is 8:35 and I'm laying in bed, ready to go to sleep. Jayme and Kate are being all coupley and I'm not really in the mood to be around that. I just don't want to be around that tonight. I am a person who wishes I could be apart of a couple. But I'm not allowed to, apparently. I'm not what people would consider "normal". I've never been to a night/dance club. I really don't go out to bars; at least not alone. I don't go out to places with the intention of finding a girl to take home and fuck. I don't have sex. Go ahead and laugh at that fact all you want. It is the normal reaction when I tell someone that. I have spent my free time taking apart a computer to paint the case. I play computer games. I prefer to play by myself. I don't like other people, for the most part. I have a certain tolerance for stupidity, and it is exceeded easily when I am around people. Most men my age keep a box of condoms in the drawer in the night stand next to their bed. Mine holds the remote for the surround sound system for my computer. I have not bought condoms in three years. I'm not optimisitic in my current outlook with life. I was finally happy with myself until she tore it all apart. I wonder if I was some sort of game for her while she waited for something better to come along. I know that I'm not attractive. I know that girls don't like me. I am aware of the situation around me. I blame myself for everything bad that has happened to me that involves girls. I messed up so they dumped me. I shouldn't have asked out the girls in the first place. If I start talking to a girl, I don't tell people. I don't tell people cause they do two things: ask so many fucking questions I want to behead them; or they start giving me "advice" for dating, etc. Then they ask the wrong question at the wrong time. I'm not the guy who goes up to a girl that I think is cute and just talks to her. I don't know how to talk to girls. I'm pretty sure the reason why the girls who talk to me do so because they are "safe". I hate girl's boyfriends. Why? Cause I say "Hi" to their girlfriend, they automatically assume that I'm hitting on her and interested in her. Then I get a text message from a random guy telling me to back off and I have to choose my words carefully cause I want to keep her as a friend. I can control myself. I prefer not to. Why? I don't like pretending to be what I'm not. I am offensive on so many levels that it is not funny. I will tell you how I see something. I don't care if you think I'm correct. I don't give two shits if you think I'm offensive or if I need to watch my tongue. Why should I? It is not who I am. Maybe this is the reason why I am alone. Anyone out there who reads this know? I know I'm not good enough. I know that a girl needs to be pretty desperate to even consider me as an option. I can accept my role as the last resort. I can accept my role as the girl's desperate drunk fuck. Yet I will always be that friend who you can call at 3 AM when you need a ride home and I will go get you. You can call me if you're having a bad day and just talk. I will be there when the douchebag boyfriend cheats on you and you find out. Yet being there for people doesn't help you in the long run. I was there for this girl for half a year. I watch her go through guy after guy after guy who all just end up hurting her. I finally get a small chance and then she tells me "I don't think we're compatible". What. The. Fuck. I have only been good at flirting with a girl once in my life. And that lasted a week and I have never been the same since that. I'm coming to the conclusion that girls are all talk. They will sit there and tell you all these things through text messages but never actually follow through with it. Well, they will follow through with it. With another guy. That is not me. I guess I'm just the middle man. I'm the guy a girl talks to when she is waiting for another guy to come along. I've felt that most of my relationships have always been about keeping her happy. What about my feelings? My wants? My needs? Only one provided that I was a fucking moron and threw it away. But it is for the better now. She's marrying a guy who is ten times better than I could ever hope to be. You know, you think that after almost two years since being with her would make it easy to hang out with her, it wasn't easy. I went to visit her and I felt like the one who was just kinda there. Watching her be happy with another guy made me feel even more like a fucking idiot and I realized that I still had feelings for her. I also kinda felt like she was trying to prove a point. It was like "Look what you gave up". And I'm always the odd one out. The third/fifth wheel. Being invited because they feel like they have to more than they want to hang out with me. Example: being invited to go bowling on Couple's Night. 5 people go. Guess who is the single. Me. I always have been. I will always be that single friend. I took my lesbian friend to a wedding cause I didn't want to show up without a "date". She looked absolutely gorgeous, by the way. I find it kinda funny. I can ask 10 different people for advice on girls and they all give me different answers. I have tried a lot of things. And they never work for me. I do the same thing that another guy does; it works for him, but not for me. Another guy does it; it is romantic. I try it; I'm a moron. There is a possibility that I'm going after the wrong girls. Either way, I still blame myself. I shouldn't of asked out all those girls who stood me up. I shouldn't have bothered them. I often wonder if I will be alone for the rest of my life. Think about it: Most people find their long term boyfriend/girlfriend/fiance while in High School or College. I didn't date anyone in high school until my senior year. I didn't date anyone at college. All the other guys my age in High School are getting laid and I'm trying to work up the nerves to tell a girl I think she is cute. But it doesn't matter if I tell her or not. I'm just that weird guy they ask for help when there is no one else around. For my Senior Photography Show, there were six of us: Amber, Audrey, Kym, Linda, Katie, and myself. I remember the night of the reception clearly. Everyone has family that comes to see their show. Except one. The girls' boyfriends show up, most with flowers or some sort of gift. I had a few friends show up, and I love those people and I am forever grateful that they showed up for me. But at the same time you have something you are proud of and you don't have the close loved ones to share it with until days later. I most likely looked like shit during it because I never slept during the part of my school year. I was a constant at the art building at all hours of the day/night. I slept for like two hours a night and a nap or two between classes on a regular schedule that my friends knew where to wake me up at for class everyday. I felt like a zombie and most likely looked like one. Alcohol was a constant fuel source for me. Sometimes I wonder if people just take me for granted. Knowing that if they ask me to do something, that I will do it, and do it to the best of my ability. I know that some people don't do this because they are lazy and know that they can get me to do it for them. It is impossible to tell. I just don't know where to start to get myself back on track. I want to go out on a date. A REAL date. I want to pick a girl up, tell her she looks beautiful, take her to a nice quiet place and have an amazing meal with her. Then take her home, and kiss her goodnight. If anyone knows how this can happen, please let me know in the comments. I would like more comments. I know that most of my posts don't call for them, but I would like think that people actually read this in its entirety. Let me know everyone once in a while that I'm not wasting my time. Thusly ends my stream for the time being. My brain is starting to hurt.

Evolution and the Copy-Cat Game.

Yesterday, after watching the 2011 WWDC Keynote Address, Youtube suggestion a video where at an Apple event, they showed how Microsoft (Or "Redmond", as they called them) copied their iCal in Windows Calender, among other applications. I don't feel like Microsoft borrowed the color scheme in iCal because they think that it is a better application. I see it this way: If someone is going to migrate over between the two platforms, wouldn't it be helpful for them if the color scheme in the calender application is the same, or similar? I feel that it is a better business practice. And don't think that it is just Microsoft borrowing from Apple. With the latest iOS 5 coming down the pipeline soon, it is obvious that Apple borrowed from not only Android, but Blackberry. The Notifications are handled in the same manner as Android, but they tweaked it and updated it a little. I like the updated version, but it was still borrowed from Android and everyone there thought it was the greatest thing ever. PC Free? I have the option of not using a PC with my Devour, and I rarely connect it to a computer unless I'm using my laptop to charge it while at home. iMessage? Blackberry Messenger. So why is it that consumers think that it is always Apple thought of it and that it is nothing until Apple uses it? I just keep thinking of a South Park episode where Butters becomes evil and his lackey keeps saying "Simpson's did it! Simpson's did it!" after every idea for doom and destruction. There are very few new ideas coming out with every update of technology. Maybe a new port [a la Thunderbolt] or two, and maybe a few new software features. So it is difficult to truly be innovative with a product refresh. And I know that every Apple fanboy will cum his pants when the Mac Mini and Macbook Air finally get modern CPUs.

I like Microsoft. I feel they are a better company than Apple. Why? They can [and will] admit when they fucked up and fix it. Vista? They admit it, they fucked that one up pretty bad and worked to fix it. Now, Vista is a pretty damn legit OS. I like their patches and Updates program. Second Tuesday of every month, as known as Patch Tuesday, I can count on running Windows Update for my computers so they can get the latest updates be more secure. I also like how they offer their own free anti virus. They make it simple and easy for someone who buys a computer get up and running and secure. If Apple recommends that the user runs an anti virus, why don't they provide a free OS X compatible anti virus? There are OS X AVs out there, but there are fewer choices. Another example: the faulty iPhone antennae. When it was discovered that holding the phone like a normal person would kill your signal, Apple goes: You're holding the phone wrong. Then they said that it was a software issue that was telling you that you have more signal than you really have. Just say it: We Fucked Up. It is simple. I love your products Apple. But you gives me reason after reason to hate you. You come off at elitist and that you're better than everyone else.

I feel that Microsoft is evolving. They are learning and working to give us a better product. I feel that they have come a long way in the past decade. They are migrating more towards the 64-Bit OS. They provide better driver support in the OS than Apple. They are not forcing their free software products down your throat. Internet Explorer is finally usable again. They do need some work in places though. The next version of Windows needs to stripped down and rebuilt from the code base up. Windows 7 is pretty damn good, but still includes some old legacy code. The Windows folder on my hard drive is right around 20GB, which is the space required for a fresh install. Now I know that 20GB is nothing with the availability of 3TB hard drives, but for laptops with limited space, we need all the space we need. Especially if using an SSD. From the looks of things, the code base for the next Windows will be a lot smaller and more refined because they are aiming for use with Tablets, and making it run on ARM processors. I had to do a fresh install of Windows on my desktop. After installing it, it found my Ethernet, Audio, AMD Radeon HD 5770 GPU, and my Keyboard drivers. It installed them, and everything works like a dream again. I know what you're thinking: Keyboard drivers? Yes, I have a Microsoft Sidewinder X4 Gaming keyboard. And I love it, by the way. Built in Drivers make the entire install process a lot less stressful. Another example of Microsoft's evolution is Windows Live. I am liking these services and getting to using them more and more. What I like about them: they no longer come with Windows. You can choose to download them if you wish. I have to set up remote streaming with my home computer. Which I am using right now. I don't use my Hotmail account for mail. I have my Gmail account for that. But having one is helping me listen to my music from my desktop, all with software that either comes with Windows or is easily installed. I feel that it is valuable.

I wanna talk about the GUI. OS X does have a beautiful interface. But there are some fundamental issues I would like to discuss. The little green "Maximize" button. I feel that if a button is called "Maximize" it should maximize the window; like in Windows. Another thing that bugs me: Alt+Tab. In Windows, this switches between your open windows, and also gives you a desktop option. OS X handles this function in a strange way. It doesn't really switch to the application or bring up the windows. Just...I don't know. So I avoid using it in OS X. One thing I love about OS X is its built in virtual desktops. I wish Windows would come with this standard. [To be fair to everyone, Ubuntu and other Linux distros I have tried all have this feature] It makes it easier to manage all your open windows. I can have Photoshop in "full screen" on one desktop, iTunes on another, iChat and Firefox open in another. You can add this functionality to Windows, but Microsoft: add this to Windows. Por Favor. Dashboard, you are useless to me. You just hog Memory and take it away from Photoshop.

I feel that Microsoft and Apple are heading into two different directions. Apple is trying to take over your digital life. They are providing products to cover everything you do on a daily basis. Microsoft is trying to take Windows into a new era. I lightweight Windows? Yes, please. I think that once Microsoft releases a lightweight Windows, it will turn Apple people. The interface will the be same, which will help make everything simple for people to use. A more robust Windows will be needed for the "enthusiast" users who build their own computers and make gaming monsters. Windows is a universal platform, and if it continues on its current project path, it will become even more universal.

OS X vs. Windows

Most people pose the question: Mac or PC? But let's be clear: a Mac is a PC. PC stands for Personal Computer. So the whole "I'm a PC" and "I'm a Mac" ads are incorrect. Every person who owns their own computer and uses it is a PC, or at least in my opinion. I understand that it has become a simple way to differentiate between the two platforms, but it is incorrect. So I like to ask the question: OS X or Windows? That is the main difference between a Macbook Pro and my Compaq Presario CQ60. The other main difference is the fact that Apple assembles the laptop in their own facilities. They do use parts that are readily available from retailers. Microsoft does not make the laptops that Windows ships on. Windows send the current generation OS to the OEMs and they install it and then put their own little touches on it [AKA Bloatware]. These are the two differences in the computers. There are also many others, but those are the base two. All the other differences are just little things on how the OS handles certain things.

I would like to make it known that while I am writing this, I am watching the 2011 WWDC Keynote Address.

1. Upgrading

One thing I love about Windows laptops is the fact that the OEMs make it easy for a person to upgrade their laptop. Need more RAM? Buy a sitck and throw it in. Apple has a much different policy on upgrades. They prefer that you take the laptop or desktop to the local Apple store and have them upgrade the product. But here is the kicker: They overprice the products and what it takes to upgrade them. I know that everything fits together in such a particular way that an average user might not be able to do so on their own. But for the advanced users, we prefer to spend a lot less money for the upgrade part and rip open the computer and do it ourselves. I feel that upgrades are something that everyone should consider when purchasing a computer. When I build a computer for someone, I look to the future. I wonder if they will want to play games, or if they just use the computer for viewing photos and checking email. That helps determine everything that I pick out. I pick out everything for a specific reason.

2. Propritary Ports.

There are some universal ports that we are all familiar with: USB, Firewire, SD. But there are some that are universal to Windows computers, but not on OS X computers. They handle external displays differently. My laptop has a VGA out port on it. Macbooks use a Mini Display Port to handle the external display. They then have a Mini Display Port on all their Apple Cinema Displays so they are "compatible". But if you want to use another display, you have to buy a Mini Display Port adaptor for your input of choice. Apple recently introduced Thunderbolt, formally known as Light Peak. Light Peak is a very promising technology that is able to replace most of not all the cables we have. It is an fiber optic based cable that can carry data, video, and audio. I applaud Apple for taking the chance and incorperating Thunderbolt into their new products. But where are the Thunderbolt connected products? It would have been nice for Apple to collaborate with companies to produce Thunderbolt accessories to accompany the launch. And to top it off, they made the port the same shape as a Mini Display Port.

3. Start Menu Vs. Dock.

I will be honest: I love the OS X dock, to a certain extent. The main issue I have with it is that it take up more screen space than the Windows Taskbar. I always hide the dock. This is not to say that I hate the Windows Taskbar. I am familiar with it. I love it, or at least the later interations. It has become easier to use and more polished. The Win. XP taskbar was a giant mess to me. I have never liked the Quick Launch buttons. They were small, and everytime you did some sort of upgrade or install a new program, it always added a Quick Launch button and a Desktop shortcut. This is fine for an average user. But for someone like me, this irritated me like none other. I always had to watch carefully to uncheck these options. But back to the Start Menu. I like the new version (Vista and WIn7), which contains all the programs in a single, scroll list. I hated the pop up lists of WinXP. It makes it very easy to find what you need. The dock is a great place to "place" you most used Apps. But if you want to use something else, you have to go through Finder. Finder is very well organized, but I don't want another window open to find an application and then have to close it. But this will all change with OS X Lion, which include Launchpad. When launched, it overlays an iOS like icon grid of your apps. Easy to find, and easy to use.

4. Windows Media Player Vs. iTunes.

I loathe iTunes. But this doesn't mean I love Windows Media Player. While WMP is pretty good, it only handles certain file types. As someone who loves their media, this makes it a difficult program to use solely. iTunes is sloooooooooooooooooooooooooow. It takes forever to launch. It freezes. When you launch it, and there is an update, it won't let you do anything until that annoying little pop-up tells you that you suck for not having the latest iTunes. Here is something I don't understand: For a company that claims to have a better computing experience, why does iTunes suck so much? The iTunes delevopment team doesn't know how to patch the program. Every update, it is a full installer that unistalls your previous iTunes install and then reinstalls it. But it is not just iTunes. It adds in QuickTime, which is required for iTunes; Bonjour, which is for sharing and security holes; and a couple other small installs. The current 32-Bit install is a 77.0 MB download. That is fine for the new install. The download for me to "update" my iTunes is 68.05 MB. The Apple Software Updater is just as shitty. It tries to get you to install Safari and other software that I don't want or need. I also dislike how you have to signed into the iTunes store to be able to do anything to your library. Want to get Album Artwork? Sign in. Download a podcast? Sign in. Bathe in baby unicorn blood? Sign in. WMP is not perfect either. I do use it a lot. It is a pretty good organizer of your media, and it helps that it is tightly intergrated with Windows. I am currently using my Windows laptop, and it taps into my Libraries. So I can customize my Libraries in Windows, and WMP will update itself. That makes it easier. But my biggest gripe with both is that they don't support a unified Lossless codec. Neither supports FLAC. Both have their own lossless codecs that makes it difficult to take your music cross platform, much less streaming. Let's fix this.

5. Home Theater PCs.

Both Windows and OS X computers can be used as pretty good media centers for your home theater. They both have their own software to do this. I like Front Row. It is slick, and easy to navigate. It also lets your watch your iTunes purchased media. Windows Media Center wins this won by a small margin for me. The reason: Netflix integration. I love Netflix. There is also a WMC plugin that lets you switch between WMC and Hulu Desktop. In my household we have subscriptions to both. This gives us access to all the media we can handle. The biggest downsize to a Windows based HTPC is the size. Yes, you can make a small one. But nothing will come close to the Mac Mini. But the Mac Mini is overpriced for old hardware. Is this a tradeoff you are willing to make? I'll take size over old hardware anyday.

6. Pre-built Purchases.

I prefer to build my own desktop. But I know that I will always buy a laptop from a store. I hate how OEMs install all the fucking trials on Windows laptops. I buy my laptop, then spend a day cleaning it up to almost a OEM clean install. But Apple wins this one by far. You turn on the laptop, and you are ready to go. Well, you set up your user name and such, but that is consistent with all computers. Once you finish that, it is ready to rock. I would of course spend some time to customize it the laptop as I want it to be. But I can just use it.

7. Viruses.

Virus. It is an everyday threat, whether it is a organic virus or a computer virus. Windows is more prone to Virus attacks. Why? As of May 2011, Windows commands an 88.67% of the world market share. Think about the Law of Averages. Would you rather have 10 chances to hit a target 5 times, or 100 chances? Everyone would take the 100 chances. This is the same thought with viruses. They are there to do something; take personal info, bank info, etc. Why go after a platform where you have less chance of getting that information? It would be easier because many Mac users don't believe that an Anti Virus is necessary. Apple has always recommended an anti virus, but many people don't believe they do. I guess browse and your own risk. And being smart about what you are doing is a great way to ensure you don't get a virus.

I feel like I could continue for hours. If you are wondering, I am both OS X and Windows. I use my Windows computers more than my Mac. I use my Mac mostly for my photo editing than anything else. I try to keep it free and clear of other programs so I can dedicate most of the 6GBs of RAM to Photoshop. I play games, so I use my Windows desktop for that. I just feel that people should know what they need and want in a computer. People just shouldn't buy a computer cause they feel that one is vastly superior than the other. One bad experience with a slow Windows computer doesn't mean that all Widnows computers are slow. A computer that is 2x or 3x more expensive doesn't mean that it is better. For me? I will always build my own desktop for gaming. But my laptop will be a Macbook Pro. Why? Just a change of pace. I would like an updated Mac to use. It is just what I feel like doing when I have the money. My friend Ricky just recently bought a car, and I suggested to look at a Chevy Impala. He told me this: "No more Chevy. All my past cars have been a Chevy and I just want a change and something different". I agree. A change of pace will do wonders for anyone. I don't prefer one platform over the other, I just know what I am getting out of each.

"I've been wallowing in my own chaotic

And insecure delusions."

The So-Called Fairer Sex and Myself.

I currently have two people who are willing to let it be known that they follow this blog. Fair Enough. I don't know it there are any more out there who read and keep it a secret. Here is something that I know that the two followers know: I have trouble finding a girlfriend. This is not nothing new. I have for a while. I have been single for around 3 years. That isn't the real issue that I have with being single. The main issue I have with it is that I have a mother who always asks the wrong questions and makes it worse for me. She has been watching wedding planning shows like a mad obsession in the past few months. That in itself is not a bad thing. But then she starts to plan my wedding for me whenever I happen to walk into the room. This is the bad part. I just smile and think to myself: I think I need to get a date first. I haven't been on a real date since July 2008. It is not for trying. Believe me. I'm not mad at anyone though. I have asked out girls. Most have said no, few have said yes, none that have said yes have actually showed up for the date. I have never been mad at the girl though. I take each one differently. I always find something to do that takes my mind off the entire situation. Drinking was never my first reaction. For one, I just worked on my photo experiments for a weekend straight. No sleep. No eating. I just worked. It happens. For another situation, I painted my HTPC case. I have a different reaction. It has come to this point: Whenever I make plans for a date with a girl, I always make a backup plan for WHEN (not IF) she decides not to show. I have very little faith in the female gender when it comes to dating.

I have a few suggestions and criticisms for the female gender. My largest complaint: Why do girls spend so much damn time preparing for a date with a guy? Let's go through the list: Showering/Basic Hygiene, getting dressed, and make-up (optional). If a guy likes you enough to ask you out, then why spend a few hours getting ready so you can "impress him"? Personally, I like the girl to be comfy. Jeans, and a shirt. Make-up is completely optional; it is up to the girl. I don't feel like I'm special enough for the girl to spend all the time to get ready just for me. Just a personal opinion. My next suggestion: If you say "yes" to a guy who asks you out, then please just show up. You may be thinking that you're doing him a favor because you don't really like him, but it is more devastating. Think of it this way: A guy is taking a complete leap of faith when asking a girl out. Because sometimes it is impossible to tell if the girl actually likes you or she is just between hook ups and needs you to do something for her. So he is taking a leap of faith in asking you out. You have a choice to make: say "yes" and go on a date with him, or say "no" and let him move on. This saying yes and not showing bullshit is what ruins guys, and often the good guys that girls always complain that they can't find. Yeah, you can't find them because you have fucked them up so much that they don't wanna take that chance again. It is like this: Say you have a closet in your house, and you know that every time you open the door, there is a chance that you will be shocked. After opening the door and getting shocked so many times, you're say "fuck that" and not use the closet. You don't wanna take that chance anymore. Neither do the guys who get stood up all the fucking time. Here is my suggestion: If you say yes, then go on the date. What is the worst that could happen? You get a free meal, and you both find out that it just isn't going to work? You will risk pregnancy and STD's by sleeping with a different guy every night, but you won't risk finding out you can have a great relationship with a good guy? What the fuck, females?

Nerds. Geeks. These are often used as derogatory terms against someone. But, we (yes, I strongly consider myself a nerd) are often the guys that make the better boyfriends. Here is why: We will do the things to keep you happy. We will not (for the most part. I can not be certain, but this is mainly what I believe) cheat. We are easy to keep happy. You know where to find us on Friday and Saturday nights. We are easy to shop for. We will be so fucking grateful that you have given us a chance that we will treat you like a queen. Think about it girls. How can a guy cheat if you are the only girl that will talk to him? If you have to work on a Friday night, you can be certain we are mostly likely at home playing games. Christmas: we are easy to shop for. A gift card to the local computer hardware store; a novelty gadget; a computer game we don't own. And you can train us, if you will. We don't know what we're doing most of the time when it comes to girls. You can show and teach us what is right and what is wrong. It won't be the same for all girls, but the basic concepts remain the same. I know that we're not the most attractive guys or socially awkward at times; doesn't make us any less human. A human who has feelings.

I have no issue taking the blame for when I do something wrong. Some might say that I take the blame even when I shouldn't. But why is everything that is wrong with a relationship the guy's fault? Why are we made out to look like the bad guy? Girl cheats on her boyfriend, and it is his fault cause he "wasn't paying enough attention to her" at home. What the fuck? If you cheat on him, it is all your damn fault. And guys, don't take the blame for that. If she's not happy with the relationship, she blames the guy. Maybe you need to put a little more effort into the relationship and maybe try to fix it. If you decide that you don't like the guy anymore, then end it. No need to keep dragging a dead horse. But if you do end it and leave him for another guy, don't come running back when it ends with the other guy. If she does, then guys, don't take her back. She hurt you before and she will do it again. It like the little kid at the beach: he keeps going a little further and further into the water to see how far he can go before he gets in trouble. It will keep happening until you finally say no to her.

It is not my choice if I have a girlfriend or not. It is not in my hands. I can only do so much. The rest is up to her. I can talk to her, be nice, and then take the chance and ask her out. That is all I can do. I can think a girl is cute; and ask her out. But that is all. Not to sound corny, but the ball is in her court. I gave her the ball, and it is up to her on what to do with the ball. She has two choices. Say yes, or no. If no, then the guy will know that it won't happen, and move on. If yes, then give him your phone number if he doesn't happen to have it already. Then go on the fucking date! Not that hard.

Another thing I have an issue with. Girls: if you like a guy, don't be afraid to ask him out. I feel that for as far our society has come in the past century, we are stuck in an old way of dating and romance. I was taken out on a date. Miranda and I were dating at the time, she ask me to go on a date with her, and I accepted. Since she asked me on the date, she felt that she should pay for the meal. I wasn't too keen on the idea, but for reasons that I will not mention here. But why is it frowned upon for girls to ask guys out? I blame the girl's mothers. They give them all this advice, and part of it is that is to wait for the guy to come to her and ask her out. If I ever get to the point where I have children and I have a daughter, I will tell her to take the chance and ask a guy out if she likes him. Maybe the guy is just too damn nervous to ask her out. I mean were is it written that a guy who can't be taken out on a date by a girl? I don't think it is necessarily fair that a guy has to take all the chances by asking a girl out and possibly getting hurt by her? This is where the girls have taken control of our concepts of romance and have all these daydreams and notions and expectations to point that a guy has be a fucking millionaire to be able to live up to. And because of their control of this, I feel that red roses are only used by guys when they want to get out of trouble. A guy thinks he fucked up, he buys roses. Why? Cause females perceive them as romantic and accept it. I have bought flowers for girls before. I have never bought red roses. I bought flowers every year for my mom's birthday and took them to her at work; save for this year because her birthday was on a Sunday. I am very hesitant to have flowers delivered to anyone but my mother because the last time I did, she dumped me that day. It is a bad memory connection. Also, roses don't last more than a week.

Girls claim that chivalry is dead. It is no longer a mainstream concept. But there are guys out there who still do all the little things for a girl. But most of the time, she never notices. Hold a door open for a girl: nothing. Open her car door for her: doesn't notice. Give her your jacket when she's cold: who cares. But then you watch a "romantic" movie with her, and she complains that guys don't do that anymore. Seriously? So then the guy wonders why he keeps doing those things for the girl when she obviously doesn't take notice then complains. THAT is why chivalry is struggling for its last dying breath.

I would like to take this time to apologize to the females that don't do these things to guys. I know that not all girls are the same. I know that all guys are the not the same. This applies to some girls, and this covers some guys. I'm giving my opinion and I don't give a fuck if you think I'm wrong. If you do, then step up and tell me. I will have a discussion with you. Just remember: this is all coming from my personal experience and my personal observations. I know that I'm not 100% correct. No one is. I can just express my opinions at my will and try to do so the best to my ability. Thanks for sticking with me through this one.

SketchUp and my favorite pliers.

I'm finding my newest obsession/hobby: Google SketchUp. I have had this program install on all my computers [except the HTPC] for a while now. I have used it every now and then, but never really got into really harnessing its power. I really sat down and started to use it with the mock up of the case mod I have currently halted in favor of the Mac project. I have disassembled the computer, and now I'm working on a 3D model of the Mac with a somewhat close representation of the color scheme. I have the basic outer shell of the case finished, which took me a few hours to complete. Next, I'm going to work on getting the rear I/O ports, hopefully finishing tonight. I'm working on trying to use real measurements that I'm taking from my case. The next big project will be the interior modelling. That will be a bitch and a half. I think I may have to do a large amount in a separate file and then import it into the home file. But that is something that I will tackle when the issue arrives to me.

A few years ago, I bought a pair of pliers. I bought these pliers for my 3D Design class. We were starting a project where we were creating animals out of 16G wire. I bought these particular pliers because they had wire cutters integrated into the pliers. These pliers are made by Kobalt, which I believe is the house brand of Lowes. These pliers have nice rubber grip handles that make them comfy to use for a long period of time. I have used these pliers for everything since I bought them. I used them today to remove screws that I didn't have a screwdriver bit to use with them. I love them. I will always keep them and use them until they die. Which I hope they never do. I have certainly gotten my $15 that I paid for them.

Now for the update on my Mac. I have completely disassemble the case. I have certainly been impressed with Apple's engineering of the Mac. I was only disappointed this morning when I found something that I thought was below Apple: Rivets. I found about 10 rivets that hold the two pieces of the inner shell together. I was certain surprised by this because my $20 was put together with rivets. I would expect a $3,000 machine would be rivet free. But there are so few, I am not upset. I am just wondering if I should remove them or not. I am thinking that I will so I can paint the interior more easily. Then reassemble the shell with the rivets and then paint the exterior. I just have to be carefully so I don't scratch the paint. I have a small habit of doing that so hopefully since the interior will be painted and the exterior primed, then assemble and paint the exterior all at once. I just need a roll of two 2" painter's tape. I am hoping that I get this started this week. I have the hard part done. Now I just need to purchase the paint then do some painting. I will start prepping and priming the pieces as I get them ready and out to the garage. So hopefully I can get some pics from my phone or DSLR and maybe some video so everyone can see me at work :)

Zero Inbox.

About a week ago, I tried this new thing called the "Zero Inbox Philosophy". The goal of this is to keep an empty inbox. The main course of action for this is deal with the emails as they come into your inbox, and to not ignore them and leave them there. I went through my inbox and discovered a plethora of "Daily Deals" from Newegg.com. I love Newegg, but their emails can be annoying. And by annoying, I mean I receive two emails from them every morning at about 5 AM. Now, to make it worse, the two emails are the same damn thing. So I am woken up and I delete two emails then struggle to go back to sleep. I went through my inbox and I set up a few more folders/labels than the usual: Services and Receipts. Anything that I have received that is a receipt or some sort of order confirmation, goes into the Receipts folder. Anything that is a welcome message, password reset, or something important from some service that I use, goes into the Services folder. This has cleaned out my inbox. It is empty. I have proof! LOOKIE:

This has made me feel somewhat accomplished. Now I know that my inbox is nothing compared to those who receive a hundred emails a day. But I am looking to keep this going because I like looking at no emails when I open my inbox. What helps with this process is the fact that I receive emails on my phone, so I can deal with them as soon as they arrive. I would recommend this to anyone and everyone.

I have decided on the color scheme for the Mac. It will be a White base coat that will be covered by these two colors: The exterior will be this Blue, and the interior will be this Orange. The interior will be lit up using these Fans. I am also thinking about a few 4" UV Cold Cathode Lights to make the interior glow through the perforated aluminum. I have the Mac mostly torn apart.


It was a pain in the ass, but it fits together perfectly. The power supply is effing huge and inhabits the entire bottom of the chassis. I need to find the Allen Wrench to remove the center section from the side panels. This will help make the painting a little easier and I can keep all the screws their original stainless or black colors. That is the task for tomorrow, while I work on prepping other parts for paint. I will paint and let is completely cure for a few days before I begin to reassemble. By the time I finish painting and such, I should be able to order the fans that I need for the case. I also need a power splitter so I can plug all the fans in and keep the wiring simple. The best part about the Mac G5 is the fact that they have a metal divider between the CPU and PCI slots which is a perfect place to mount the splitter. It is also pretty central to all the fans so hopefully I don't need any extensions. I just wish I had the means to add a fan controller so I can turn down/silence the fans when not using the machine for anything than requires heavy lifting. But I can't be too choosy. But just doing some research, I think I found a solution: Lian Li PCI Slot Fan Controller. It lets me choose between three three speeds and I can control three fans with each one. Two of these would take up the remaining PCI slots and I would be able to control my fans, and still let me have the switch for my UV lights.

I am looking forward to really getting this project underway. I want to have a truely unique Mac that looks good, but still performs, being 6 years old. The Dual CPU design is a little dated, but it still works. The only issues I have with it is that Apple has fucked me over. Since their move to Intel, all the new software supports only Intel CPUs. Which, I don't completely blame them, but when they (Apple), tout the fact that their computers last longer and people are still using Macs based on the PowerPC CPU, it is just strange that they decided to cut them off. No Snow Leaopard. No Adobe CS5. But, I will continue to use it for photo editing until the day she dies.

Princess RuBear and the Massive Heat Sink

So, first things first: Ruth has returned! I was so excited today when I saw my Princess walking through the store. Everything felt right again in the world. But back to business.

Holy fuck. The Mac was a pain to tear apart. But it is well engineered piece of ass kicking power. The heat sink is sitting on my desk next to me and it is HUGE. It measures in at 7.5"x7.5"x6". Fucking huge. But getting the Mac apart just gave me some experience and I will use it to my advantage. I will continue to finish the tear down during my free time next week. I'm gonna paint it one day in the garage and then let it dry for a few days so I know that it all cures well. I found these awesome fans that are UV blue/orange and I'm basing the entire color scheme off that. I will give more details at a later date.

Bitch and a Half.

At this point, I am surprised I am walking and awake. I must look like a zombie or something. The coffee here tastes just as good as ever, but the caffeine isn't cutting it. I'm working on about an hour of sleep in like two days. I wonder if it is possible to exist with this little sleep every night. I could probably pull it off. I might try that as an experiment next week.

So bad news everyone: Micro Center didn't have the acrylic panel that I wanted. So I need to order one from Performance PCs. These guys are an awesome source for modding supplies.MNPC Tech is another great place for supplies, and for some great modding knowledge. I was able to purchase the screws and nuts. I decided to buy the pack of 100 #8-32, 1.5" screws with the rounded head. I thought about getting flush mount ones, but then I would risk breaking any acrylic and fan frames when counter sink drilling the holes. I also picked up the smaller, button head crews for the side panel on my main desktop. Once this is ordered, I can work on trying to finish up the case and reassemble the computer. I am going to try to sell the computer and hopefully get about $250 if possible.

The image on the left is a Google SketchUp mockup of the computer tower when purchased. Not bad looking for a $20 case, no shipping. Sweet. The Right image is what I plan to have it look after. The bottom 3.5" drive bay is no longer accessible as it will be blocked by the green acrylic. The bottom 5.25" drive bay will be permanently attached to the front bezel. I will be using fiberglass body filler to fill in the cut in the plastic and to smooth out the areas I want. The top drive bay will hold 5 military style On/Off switches that will control the fans and lights. The optical drive is located under the switches, and painted white. The interior of the case will be painted green; the exterior white.

Alright, time to go. Hopefully I will be able to update soon about the progress of the computer. And if anyone is interested in the finished product, let me know. It is still a pretty kick ass computer for pretty damn cheap.

Root and Gaming Head Phones

Last June, I went into the local Verizon store to cancel the insurance on my phone that decided it no longer wanted to charge. So my mother and I walked in to cancel the insurance on the phone that I no longer use. The very nice guy there offered me the Motorola Droid for $100 with a $50 rebate, or the Motorola Devour for $50. I liked the keyboard of the Devour better, so after a talk with dad [that I had no part of], we departed with me happily exploring my new phone. After about a month or so, I noticed something. My phone was slowing down significantly. My battery was also dying faster and faster. Soon after, my phone decided to stop letting me use it as a phone. No phone calls. No text messaging. No GPS. So much for a smart phone. I returned it to discover that my antennae was dead. So new phone arrives in the mail. After another month, I began to research. I found a tested and proven way to gain Root access to my phone. I decided to go for it. After about an hour of pounding away at the keyboard and figuring out the Command Prompt, I had gained the Root access I had desired. Soon after this I killed [read: deleted] many of the Verizon installed apps like VZ Navigator, V Cast Music, CityID, and the Help. Soon after that I noticed that my battery was lasting longer, and my phone was running smoother, for how underpowered it was. I also replaced the launcher program to one that also helped speed up my phone and let me customize it. I was living the good life with a polished turd of a phone. But the problem monster soon reared its ugly head. My Market stopped working. I kept trying to download updates and it said that the download was starting, but never actually downloaded. So a short call to Verizon and they sent me a new one. I was still having some issues with my market, but I was able to get some apps I had previously. I gained the Root access on this new handset, and I was back in business. Once I downloaded my Root File Explorer, I went on a deleting rampage. Anything I didn't use, I deleted. Gone. Sped up my phone once again. Battery life in improving.

So here is my advice: Root your Android phone. It makes a world of difference. Newer phones might not benefit in the short term, but down the road, it will help you power up your device.

Now I have been hearing all this talk about this little program/service called Skype. I am looking into finally making the Skype leap. But here is the large issue with that: I do not have a mic, nor do I own a web cam. The cam issue would be solved if I decided to buy a Macbook Pro. But here is the main issue with web cams: while great at video, I would like a better audio experience. Now I don't just wanna buy a mic and stand it in front of me. I would like a nice pair of "gaming" head phones. While targeted at gamers, they all have a common feature: a built in mic. I would sure as hell rather have the video and use the headset to actually talk to the person. And Maybe I might jump into a experiment with a little online gaming. Or set up a VPN and have a cross state "LAN" party. It would be nice to be able to talk to my friends while being a dick at the same time. I do love my Senneheiser head phones. They have great sound quality, and they are comfy, even after hours of wearing them. I am looking into the Thermaltake Shock One. Yes, they are almost $100. I have read good reviews on this headset. I would rather pay more for quality than save money and hate the headset a few months later. And the Thermaltake colors will match my red/black computer theme that I will be using them with. I will look into other options also and let everyone know what ends up happening.

Phone info.

So I was waiting for my sister and I decided to see if my market was fixed on my phone. And it decided to download my stuff! I was so excited to finally get the apps that I paid for. I downloaded and installed my Root File Explorer. I was finally about to uninstall those pesky Verizon installed apps. My battery life has improved since then. I would recommend any Android user to root their phone. Well worth the process.

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Destroying the Institution of Marriage.

"People say that gay marriage will destroy what marriage is today. I say they are right. It will prove that Americans can be monogamous, and happily married. Most people who think gay marriage is a problem have a bad marriage. Sorry for you."

-Kate Lucy Angeloni

I love this. Kate is my sister's fiance. I live with them and I see and interact with both of them everyday. And yes, this means that my sister is gay. I love her. I always will. She is more than her sexuality. She is a person. So is Kate. I'm not trying to say that I have never used the term "gay" as derogatory. I have. I apologize for every time I have said anything like that. Over the past few years I have changed my views and I feel that I am a better person for that.

Gay Marriage.I wonder when we will have equality for all. What is so wrong with marrying the person that you love? I don't see anything wrong with that. But we constantly hear these arguments that if we let gay people get married, our society will crumble and then people will marry animals. BULLSHIT. What is so wrong with being gay? I am proud knowing that I support gay people. What happened to the phrase "All Men Are Created Equal"? In our country's short history, we have dealt with this before and we evolved. I'm not trying to say that slavery is on the same ground as gay marriage. But they are the same in denying our citizens the ability to marry the one they love, no matter if they are gay or straight. Jayme [my sister] and Kate will be getting married this December 14th. They are traveling to Iowa to get married. I am happy for them. I want to be there for them. What I hate about the entire situation is that to get married they are forced to travel 600 miles to do so. And their marriage will not be legally recognized in the state they we reside in. I find it strange that a conservative state like Iowa has legalized gay marriage, and the state who's capital has one of the largest gay populations in the country. The cover of this month's 614 Magazine reads "Why is Columbus So GAY?" I read this article in its entirety and it amazed me. The amount of money that the city and state makes from the gay population here is in the BILLIONS. Let's think about this. Billions of dollars are spent every year in Columbus by gay people. Now let's imagine that the stat legalizes gay marriage. This would cause a migration to Ohio and would also help erase the debt that we have in our state. More people=more jobs=more money. It is a simple way to help our state move out of debt and into surplus.

Now onto Marriage. Marriage is not what it used to be. Marriages used to be arranged for mutual gain between two families. It was more of a financial and survival method than anything else. Marriage began to move away from arrangements towards marrying the person you wanted to, and the person you loved. First it was conservative. Virginity was held in high regards and it was common practice to remind chaste until marriage. And when people wed, they did so for life. As we have moved along, it is becoming more and more common to get divorced. Why? People cheat. People lie. People try to hide their secrets. Personally, there is just too much effort involved in having two lives with two families in two different areas in the country. I feel that if you can't be honest with the person, then you do not love them and you have no business doing that to them. More and more couples are living together before they get married. I find this is more practical than getting married fast then getting divorced. You get to be immersed with the person and learn everything about then and the two of you will discover that if you can live with the person for the rest of your life. This is where gay marriage comes in. Gay couples live together. They live together longer than some couples stay married. Why? Because until the last decade, they were not legally allowed to be married in this country. Gay couples are very committed and monogamous. Why is this? Even today it is difficult for some people to come out and let people they love know that they are gay. While there are more publicly gay people, they are still outnumbered by heterosexual people. Now I'm not saying that gay people don't cheat because there are less gay people in the world. I believe that they are more committed to working out any and all issues that they encounter. They take the extra steps needed to stay committed. Plain and simple. Straight couples are lazy by comparison. It seems that the couple operate like this: Get together, figure everything else out later. Why take the time to learn about the person; what they're like, what they love to do, and everything else that is needed to really know a person, good or bad. Let's just fuck. If the guy can get in the girl's pants, why get to know her? They way he sees it, I can get laid consistently, and if I find something I don't like, I can bail if it outweighs the sex. Now I'm not saying that all gay people are in committed, long term relationships without their problems. I know some gay people who have slept with a multitude of people. I'm not saying that that is wrong. Just not the lifestyle I have chosen for myself. I feel that as long as you are safe and take the necessary precautions, then do what you want. It just seems that gay marriage will destroy how we perceive marriage. It will take it back to earlier days of marrying for love when divorce was rare and the couples were committed to each other. Our society has turned marriage into a joke. Let's run off and get married in Las Vegas at a drive through wedding chapel, and then get divorced a week later. Or in the case of a famous singer, a day later. Shit like that is tearing apart the ideals behind marriage. The ideals are to bind two people together for life and for them to start a family. Marriage was a milestone in one's life. It was seen as the Holy Grail of relationships. It was special. You find someone that you love so much that you are willing to commit and spend the rest of your life with this one person. Then you love the person so much that you want to create life with them. That has all gone to waste, for the most part. And it is because of this that I personally have mixed reactions to marriage and engagements. On one hand, I am feeling like I am being left behind when another friend gets engaged. But then I am so happy for some people when they do make the commitment and I know that they are two great people who love each other. Then there are some friends of mine who seem to get engaged and married in a very short time. Or they are engaged to people that they physically can't spend time with. It confuses me. If I was engaged, I would want to spend a lot of time with that person. This also comes from my main experience with marriage; my parents will be celebrating 31 years of marriage this August. I know that is not the case with a lot of people. I know that people do live with the experience of divorce, sometimes at a young age. This is what has helped shape the way that marriage is viewed today.

I support gay marriage. I always have, and I always will. I do hope that I am able to be there for Jayme and Kate, and I do hope that someday my parents accept the fact that she is gay, and that she is still the same person, and that she is happy. Jayme does not need their approval. I hope that they come to realize that she is still their daughter, and gayness is not a disease and that she is the same sister I have always had. She wants your approval. I know that a person being gay is not something that you grew up with, and it may not be something that you believe in, but please just understand and know that it is not going to change her mind. She loves Kate, and I see that everyday. I know that Kate loves Jayme. I hope that I can someday find someone that I love as much as they love each other. Jayme and Kate: I don't know if you will ever read this, but if you do, just know that you two give me faith in people and give me hope that I will find someone to love like you two love each other

Hobby Lobby makes me smile.

I was thinking about something today while I was sweeping the floor at Hobby Lobby tonight. There are certain things here that make me smile and laugh. Now these may not be appealing to anyone else but me, but I feel I must share these things.

Functional Wood
Every time I hear this simple, two word phrase, I laugh. I mean c'mon. Functional Wood. It's funny.

The Seasons of Seasonal
Today is June 21st. The first official day of summer. And tonight at work we cleared isles of out "Summer" products to make room for our "Fall" and "Christmas" products. I just find this a strange set up. But it all makes sense once it was fully explained to me. See, most craft shows take place in August/September. So We start displaying Christmas products now so those who create Christmas crafts for these shows will bring their business to Hobby Lobby.

The Business of Overstock
Overstock is a part of retail business. I just love how we handle it. Some places will have a special overstock sale of those particular items. How do we deal with it? Pack it up and ship it off to other stores. This makes for long, tedious days, but it makes the time fly. It seems like this is the philosophy: If we have to much, give it to some other store to deal with.

Ugly Ass Shit
This is a simple fact: Hobby Lobby sells some ugly shit. The largest department in the store is the Home Accents. This contains pretty much anything you would use to decorate your house. Yet rich old ladies continue to buy it.

Truck Days
We get our trucks on Thursdays. But unlike most retail stores, our merchandise is not packed and wrapped nicely on pallets. Oh no. Ours is just packed in the truck in either totes, "repacks", or their original boxes. And they are just packed in there like a nightmare game of Tetris. It is a nightmare because the warehouse packers don't put heavy shit on the bottom, and light shit on top. On No. Glass is usually on the bottom. Why? Cause they can.

PEGS
We use pegs and shelves for our products. We have the following size pegs: 2", 4", 6", 8", 8" HD, 11" HD, 6" Coated, and 8" Coated pegs. So it gets a little frustrating when doing a re/set in a way that you may have to change from 6" to 4" pegs. And when you are going from 11" Heavy Duty pegs to 4" pegs, it gets a little frustrating trying to condense the product into a smaller space.

Tomorrow is the day! I am buying the socket head screws for the side panel in my desktop. I am also buying the acrylic panel and the longer screws that I am using for the fans. I should have the front panel cut out tomorrow. The dremel should last longer when cutting plastic than steel. I am figuring out the designs and panels that are being cut out and customized. I may buy some cheap case accessories to use while at Micro Center. As for the paint, I'm going white on the exterior and green on the interior. But I'm looking for a bright green, maybe not quite a lime green, but in that area. I am thinking about a name for the project, I will reveal that in time.

Confessions at Carribou

Here is something that I will say that not many people never thought they would here me say: The next pre-built computer I will buy will be a Mac. I know, I know, shock and surprise. I'm not against Apple. I never have been. The facet of Apple that I am against is the rabid fanboys that claim that Steve Jobs is god and that everything Apple releases, they must have and is the greatest thing ever. Here is Exhibit A: The "Magic" Trackpad. I love my laptop. I like being able to close the lid and take it with me wherever I need to go. The one thing that I dislike about laptops: trackpads. It is the best solution available to navigation [touch screen is not an option]. I don't want to have another piece of technology that I have to unpack and pack up every time I want to use my laptop. And most of the mice that are targeted at laptop users are small as hell and anyone that knows me knows that I have large hands, and small mice just won't work. So why would anyone want to pay the $70+ for a trackpad for your desktop? I like using my mouse to navigate around the desktop. I don't want a trackpad to do so. My desk is cluttered enough without another piece of hardware to throw on there. Yes, I know that it would save some space by replacing my mouse with this single pad that I don't move around. But here is the problem with that: I play games. And using a trackpad to play games is fucking frustrating. I want my mouse. I NEED my mouse. So I can't replace it. I have to keep it. But when it comes to trackpads in laptops, Apple wins. Hands down. It is large. It is smooth. It took me a while to get used to the hidden buttons, but I like the way that the buttons don't get in the way of scrolling. I also like the multi-touch. I don't feel that it is a necessity. But I like having the option of using it. The trackpad on my laptop is small. It works well enough, but I run out of space to do my scrolling and when working in Photoshop and Dreamweaver.

My next reason for buying a Mac: Build Quality. Even the biggest Mac hater must admit that the build quality of the Macbooks are superior than most Windows laptops. Most Windows laptops are made of plastic that cracks and breaks with ease. My laptop slid off my bed onto my night stand and part of the corner chipped off. This was about a month into owning the laptop. It was a small chip, but something that would not have happened with a more solidly built laptop using superior materials. Apple has been using Aluminum in all their Macbooks [except the basic model] for a few years now. Here is the thing about Aluminum: Lightweight, strong, doesn't rust. Another issue I have with my laptop is that she is a chunky girl. There just seems to be a large amount of wasted space on her. Saddening, because she has been through a lot with me in the past almost two years.

Third Reason: STICKERS. I LOATHE stickers. I hate all the stickers that Windows laptops come with. And they always seem to be in the same place on the laptop: the hand/palm rests. I know what I am getting when I buy a laptop. I do not need to be reminded everyday. If I need to find out because I forgot, I have the system properties window to find out. Stickers suck, enough said.

Fourth Reason: Heat. My laptop overheats a lot. Not to point of shutting down, but to where it is hot to the touch. What makes this happen is the fact that the intake for my laptop's CPU fan is on the bottom of the laptop. This makes a whole lot of sense. Let's put the intake where there is very little airflow. Genius. This brings me back to the aluminum. Aluminum is used in CPU heat sinks along with copper. The aluminum body of the Macbook Pro makes it a large surface heat sink. And there are no air intake vents on the bottom. Simple, and effective.

I believe that these are 4 good reasons to buy a Macbook Pro. I don't want another desktop, because the one I have will outrun them. And I can upgrade it when I feel fit. I love my laptop. But when she dies/slows to a crawl [which she will, it is how technology works], I will look into a Macbook Pro. Yes, they are expensive. Do I feel that they are worth every penny? No. I think they could be more competitively priced. It is the only way that Mac will ever overtake Windows as the majority OS in the world. And the fact that people are still desperately hanging onto Windows XP helps them. But will I pay the current $2,000 for a configuration that I would use. I will pay for a configuration that will help keep the laptop free and clear of cluttered shit, which includes a 128 GB SSD. Fast, forces me to keep it free and clear. I would also order new RAM through Newegg to bring me up to an 8GB total. I know 8GB of RAM is overkill. My desktop doesn't have 8GB of RAM. It will soon though. Now here is the point of contention with me: Would I install Windows X when I buy it? Here are the pros and cons of this. For one, that is another $100 for the version of Windows. And would it make sense to dual-boot with a 128GB hard drive? I mean I could always replace the optical drive with another hard drive. But that is something to tackle down the road.

Now for a short update on my case mods: The Mac Pro has not been dismantled yet. I have decided to wait until I finish my other one. I finished the cutout for the front fan intake, and I have the cutout started for the rear exhaust fan. I need to head to Home Depot, Auto Zone, and Micro Center to pick up the following materials: Green Acrylic, M3 or #6 screws with nuts, Fiberglas Body Filler, Paint, and some clearance case accessories at Micro Center. I will post some photos soon when I am able to take them.

Why doesn't anyone I know sleep?
Are they all just scared of their dreams
When they lay their heads down at night,
What are they haunted by?

Why won't anyone just close their eyes?
Could it hurt them to rest for a while?
Do they need their friend to be a lover,
Or a lover to be a friend?

Here is the Party Switch I imagined while reading Emily's blog [Read Here]. She was discussing politics and that is not something I want to get into today, mainly because that is a discussion that is going no where. But I am currently at Carribou Coffee in Westerville [I think], and something has got me thinking: Do people meet up at Starbucks to have their Bible beating meetings? I know that Starbucks is the secret meeting place of the Mac faithful. But it would be much more awesome if it was more like the speakeasies during Prohibition. But anyway. Every time I come to Carribou to relax and just do some work in a place that is not my bedroom, I notice 3 things: 1] There are always more Windows based PCs vs. Macs, 2] There is always a Bible meeting going on, and finally 3] There are never any cute girls here that are not working. Speaking of cute girls, I haven't seen the one cute girl that works here in a while :( But back to my main topic. I have only been inside a Starbucks a handful of times, and never for a real extended period of time. But during those few shorts visits, and one long one, I have never seen a person reading their Bible and taking notes. It is always younger people with their expensive Macbooks. And why the fuck do you need to take notes on the Bible? It is not like a dictionary where there is a new edition every year that makes the necessary changes in its text. The Bible hasn't changed in over a thousand years, give and take a few centuries. Now by changes, I'm not talking about the linguistic changes to make the Bible easier to read by the general public. I do not count the Bible being translated from Latin as a change. The stories stay the same. The chapters are the same. The morals are the same. So where is the need to take notes? I took notes on the Bible while in High School because I was being tested on the Bible. And these exams were difficult. Even for people, like me, who have read the Bible cover to cover a few times. Do you find that surprising? Yes, I have read the Bible. Do I necessarily believe what the Bible is trying to tell us? Yes and No. I do not believe the Bible to be historically accurate. I do believe the authors were trying to teach us some basic morals and simple guidelines on how to live. But as humans we tend to follow what we perceive to be part of our history. I'm not saying that the historical context of the Bible is completely falsified. David was a badass. Just saying. He knew what he wanted, and did what was necessary to obtain that. He sent a loyal soldier to the front line and gave the commander orders to back the rest of the army back so the soldier would be killed. Why? He wanted to fuck his wife. Some might call this immoral or whatever. But he would not fuck her at first because she was married. So he solved the marriage problem. But the Bible would have us to believe that David was a holy man who was a hero and part of the royal bloodline that produced Jesus. But he was a ruthless man who spread his carnage across the middle east. His army would pillage and burn cities, then salt their fields to kill any food and prevent anything being grown for a long time. Any Army today that modeled themselves after the Israelite Army would be feared by all. The ruthlessness of the Israelites combined with modern technological weapons? That would be an Army that would destroy all in its path. Remember "Total War" by Sherman in Georgia? That would be child's play. Nothing would be left standing. Some may call this overkill, or unnecessary, but think about it. If you want to defeat your enemy, first exhaust all peaceful means. If they do not work, make them regret that. Burning fields means that they can not supply the food necessary to feed their population. Destroy bridges. Obliterate railroads. Demolish airfields. Blockade and cripple their ports. If they have no means to sustain themselves, they can not survive. Think about it: cut off their resources, they will figure their shit out quickly. You can do this with minimal casualties. If they refuse to comply, then move in. Pillage. Burn. Destroy. Make it so that when it is over, they can not do anything except focus on rebuilding. It may be brutal, but it would make other nations around the world think twice about fucking with you. Make an example out of a country, and others will take notice. This would in a way help pave the way to peace. Or usher in the Second Imperial Age. Either way.

I feel that this is why I love playing Empire: Total War and RTS games like Empire Earth and Star Wars: Galactic Battlegrounds. I think I am going to play an extended game of EE tonight while working on my case mods and tearing apart the Mac. I meant to play last night, but I stated talking to Madison and ended up having an extended conversation with her, which was very pleasant. I miss having her at work. :( I have figured out how to accurately describe my strategy when playing EE: I have build up resources and defend, then counter attack once defending if finished. I usually build up a couple armies: One with ranged weapons to defend because they can shoot over my walls, and other army is a combination of ranged units, infantry, and war machines. But Enough of that.

Now I wish to ask those very few people that read for their vote/opinion: For my next computer upgrade, should I go with two Video Cards, or a single Video Card with an SSD for Windows?

Rob Zombie is the Deadliest Warrior

Over the past day or so, I've had the CD "Past, Present, and Future", which is a greatest hits album by Rob Zombie, in my car. This makes driving a better experience. I was able to crank the stereo up, roll down the windows, and just go. I was also able to keep the CD in while my mother was riding with me. She does not like music that goes, in her words, "kaboom kaboom kaboom". Are you fucking with me? She also likes Lady Gaga and country music.

I would also like to tackle another topic. Netflix has spoiled me. My $10 a month gets me all the HD goodies that I can handle. And I also get the resources of a DVD. To be honest, I prefer to have all my movies and tv shows streamed to me in all their High Definition goodness. I have no issues with DVDs. I just believe that they are a dying media. They have two great downfalls: 4.7 GBs for a single layer disk, and they scratch. They scratch almost too easily. I feel that Blu Ray disks are fall superior; at least in capacity. They still fail when it comes to being scratched. I would be a bigger fan of Blu Ray if the disk manufacturer where to use a more durable plastic in the disk. This would help boost the Blu Ray into even more of a mainstream technology. Who wants to pay close to $30 per Blu Ray disk if they get scratched and useless after being played a few times. Another downfall for the Blu Ray is the uneducated, and the sub-par audio systems being paired with the 60" HDTV and Blu Ray player. Sure, the movie looks great. But the audio needs to be there. Now I know that we all can't afford to have a top of the line surround sound system. But put a little effort into it. Buy the best that you can.

Now onto something a little more personal. My boss, Deanna, resigned yesterday. Unexpectedly. Now this isn't what is upsetting to me. What upsets me is that I didn't get to say goodbye to her. The last time I saw her, she was stressing out while being visited by some guys from Oklahoma City. I think that is what is upsetting me the most about the entire situation. I know that some people didn't like her. She was an awesome manager to me. She always joked around and was in a good mood around me. All I can say is that she will be missed greatly by me during this whole transition. I was fortunate enough to be able to bid my farewell to Bobbie and Paul J today. They are transferring to the West Broad Street Hobby Lobby here in Columbus. They will then be working at the brand new Grove City store when it opens. I wish them the best of luck in all they do.

Some of you may know that I am currently working my first extensive mod to a spare computer case. I just finished the cutout of this strange raised hole. This made it almost impossible to rout the main 24 pin ATX power connector through this cutout. So instead of trying to follow the original rounded corner square, I cut it into a straight 90 degree cornered square. I also had a couple small rounded end slots that I cut into one large cutout to route cables. Next, I may cut out the rear side optical drive bay for an area to route the front panel cables. I am choosing the top drive bay because on the front of the case, this bay is covered by the power/reset switch and other connections. I will keep everyone posted.

Onto the rant of the day. I was working tonight, and while sweeping I came across these two young girls. Like right around Jr. High age. And they were wearing slut clothes. I mean the short shorts that whores wear. And parents wonder why their "little angels" turn into sluts and whores and strippers at young ages. Now don't get me wrong. I have no issues with strippers. I personally have never been to a strip club. I have no issue with females or males that are paid to take their clothes off for entertaining the paying customers. On a related topic, I was promised a lap dance for my 21st birthday, but have yet to receive one. Just saying.

My final thought for the day: Make friends with people, and have a good time with them. You never know when they may leave you.

Confessions of the Day.

I preface this post by the fact that this is directed towards no one in specific. It is something that I have been thinking about for a while, and I feel that it is time to make my displeasure with this subject known. This is the basic topic of the post: I hate douchebags/bitches. I would like to take the time to clarify what I mean. A douchebag can encompass many meanings, and many different types of the male species. I am specifically talking about the douchebags that lie and take advantage of a girl and her emotions. Yes, I know, everyone lies. It is a part of life. Some might even say that lying is part of any healthy relationship. Personally, I don't feel the need to lie to a female. I have nothing to hide. This is not to say that I haven't lied to a female before, believe me, I have. But lying to a female by telling her that you [douchebag] is no longer with his ex or whatever so you can sleep with said female is just wrong. Why do you feel the need to lie to a female? I also don't understand the nonchalant attitude that some guys take with cheating. Why cheat? Because the girl you are with isn't a slut and won't sleep with you a week into the relationship? If you are upset by this, then why continue to hurt the girl? Why toy with her emotions? If you don't like the fact that she has some respect for herself and her body, then don't stay with her. Let her find the guy that will treat her how she deserves to be treated. There are guys out there in the world that have enough trouble "getting the girl" without you fucking with her emotions to the point that she doesn't trust any other guy. Now this doesn't mean that girls are completely innocent in this scenario. There are girls who take advantage of those few good guys that are left out there in the wild. What pisses me off the most is the fact that they sit there and complain about they "wish they could find a good guy who treats them well". What. The. Fuck. You have a guy who does that but you fail to see that and think that you can do better. And in some rare cases, you can. But most of the time, you never will. And it fucks with the guy's psyche. Now he thinks that the only way he can get girls is to act like the aforementioned douchebags. This is a shitty cycle that unfortunately create more douchebags and in turn lessens the number of the good guys there are. Is it fucked up. On a related topic, girls: If you know a guy likes you, and you are not interested in him, please, PLEASE just let him know. From a personal standpoint, I can take a "No" or an "I'm not interested in you" a lot better than being led on. This is not to say that it rings true with all guys. But each and every time a guy or girl is stood up, it hurts even more. And it leaves them wondering "Is there something wrong with me?". Some find redemption and learn to trust again. But there are others who keep getting stood up, and lose every bit of self confidence and self esteem. To top it all off, they get this advice from others "Be confident. Guys/Girls find it sexy." But how can they be confident in themselves if all they know in their recent history, which is rejection and humiliation? It wouldn't be as bad if the douchebags/bitches were up front with the guy/girl in the first place. This is would help regain trust in the opposite sex. Which is key when living in a society where there is a heavy emphasis placed on being in a couple. Knowing the truth up front would let the person move on and not waste their time trying to impress the person.

Here is another point I want to make today: If the guy/girl you are dating is nervous and not quite sure what to do, don't make fun of them. Gently push them in the correct direction. Don't call them out on it, because it will embarrass them. Drop hints. But don't be vague. Be a little obvious. This will help the person learn, and it will make everyone happier. Now I'm not claiming to be any sort of expert on relationships. I'm just making known what I have learned and experienced in my personal dating life.

And for my final thought of the moment: Sunflower seeds while driving make the drive so much better. You get a constant snack so you don't get hungry, and it also helps quench your thirst.

Emily.

I was inspired to start this new, personal blog by Emily Larsen. She showed me hers and it gave me a much needed outlet to share my thoughts in a place where either people read them, or they don't. It is much better than Facebook because then I won't be bombarding my friends with everything little thing, which is something that a couple people in my friends list do everyday. This is reserved for those who want to read this, and if you don't want to, then I don't care. This is more for me than it is for you. I have some issues, I'm not going to lie. This will put them on display, and maybe be a self-therapy type of thing. I'm hoping that this will help me understand myself, and help me find the road to a happy place where I resided for a day or two before it all came crashing down. Don't get me wrong. I am happy with WHO I am. I know what I am, and what I'm not. What I want [read: Need] to find is where I fit in this world, and how to become happy with where I am in my life, and not discouraged by every little thing that goes in the opposite direction that I think it is going. But I would like to thank Emily Larsen for this. I have finally found the title that I want, and I will be working on the design of the page as I go along. But the HTML editing on this website is horrendous. I need to go through it more carefully. I wanna edit the CSS, but sadly it won't let me start from scratch. This will have to do for now. If you have any helpful suggestions or hint, please let me know!

Thanks.